Improving Myself

My name is Laila. Over the course of 2020, I have changed dramatically. In 2019 and the first few month of 2020, I was a complete mess. I didn’t focus in class, I cared so much about other’s opinions, I wore the same jeans and sweatshirt to school everyday, and I was just a horrible person. I didn’t care about anyone else but myself. But over the course of 2020, I changed all of that around. My name is Laila, and this is my story.

We are going to start at the beginning of quarantine. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I wasn’t a very nice person. I cared about everyone’s opinions so much. I tried to fit in. I wasn’t a good friend. And let’s not forget to mention, that I was in an awkward love situation. I’m 15, and for the first time ever, I fell in love with one of my best friends. It wasn’t intentional. But I never wanted it to stop. I was so toxic with this information. I cried all the time. I would rant on and on about it to my other close friends. It was all I ever talked about. I cared so much about it, and it really hurt me. Not to mention, she was the first girl crush that I’ve ever had. With this, I questioned my sexuality everyday. It was all I thought about. I even confessed my love to her, and that was not a fun experience. But over time, I learned to let go and move on. I accepted that she would never love me back. I accepted that I wouldn’t get what I want out of this. I realized my sexuality, which I ended up being straight. It was a wild experience, and it really changed how I thought. Now I’m not completely over her, because it’s hard to get over that, but I have definitely moved on. Moving on was hard, but I feel so much better. I now understand that I don’t need her in my life to make me happy. I don’t think about her at all, which was a key factor to my happiness. I also used to be incredibly mean. I was so distant from my family, and I relied on my friends for happiness. Now, I know that I’m stuck with my family, and I love them. I cut back toxic friends. Became friends with new people. I pray. Workout. Journal. Read. Be with friends. Love. I’m a better person. I will be sharing daily tips or journal entries about my day. If you would love to learn more, about school tips, self care, happiness, working out, I will be here every step of the day. Follow me for more!:)